On Death and Grieving

A very devoted and simple devotee had lost his only son, a child of three. The next day, he arrived at the Asramam with his family. Referring to them, Bhagavan (Ramana Maharshi) said:

“Training of mind helps one to bear sorrows and bereavements with courage; but the loss of one’s children is said to be the worst of all griefs. Grief only exists as long as one considers oneself to have a definite form; if the form is transcended, one knows the One Self to be eternal. There is neither death nor birth. What is born is only the body and this is the creation of the ego. But the ego is not ordinarily perceived without the body and so is identified with it. It is thought that matters. Let the sensible man consider whether he knew his body while in deep sleep. Why, then, does he feel it in the waking state? Although the body was not felt in sleep, did not the Self exist? What was his state when in deep sleep and what is it now when awake? What is the difference? The ego rises up and that is waking. Simultaneously, thoughts arise. Find out who has the thoughts. Where do they come from? They must arise from the conscious self. Apprehending this even vaguely helps towards the extinction of the ego. The realization of the One Infinite Existence becomes possible. In that state there are no individuals but only Eternal Being. Hence, there is no thought of death or grieving.”

~ Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi

• Osborne, Arthur (2002). The Teachings of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi in His Own Words. Tiruvannamalai: Sriramanasasram